Why he picks fights

I am the mother of 2 little kids and he keeps tryi g to throw me out and he keeps on saying be a mother when i work fulltime and a mother fulltime. His sister sticks her nose into something that she should not. Well I have met the same guy. I just talked to him a few minutes ago when I was tucked into bed, happy and relaxed after a good day's work. Of course he brought me down in a few minutes because according to him I shouldn't be cutting down a hedge, my landlord should do it, when I told him the day before that I wanted to do it.

My landlord usually makes a mess of things and does more damage than good. I am one of those do it yourself women. Well according to him I'm stubborn, I don't listen, and on and on. So once again after talking to him I'm upset and wonder why I have anything to with him.

He is a sick man, he makes a big deal about the dumbest little things that don't even make it on my radar. I think I'm finally sick of him. The only way to get a break from this type of man is to cut him loose. Whats funny is I have given my all. It seems every little thing I do is wrong He came home to a woman not questioning his whereabouts because I know he had work, cleaned up and was preparing for my day.

We could be so good when money is in play, his career is doing good, or when something for him is just good. I mean how could you not help or feed the woman you with talents but help everyone else?

The up and down love and exhausted me and I feel this might not go anywhere because he will not LOVE me. Communication sucks. I feel like he spends more time studying me than loving me. You would think when a man studies a woman they do it to really love her right?

I think he studies me to know how to cause conflict in the relationship to validate his wrong. The one thing that I have realized through my dating experiences is that we teach men how to treat us. If you are choosing to stay with a man who thinks it's OK to talk down to you, disrespect you or take his anger out on you, then you are letting him know again by continuing to keep him in your life that how he is treating you is something that you are OK with. Therefore you are no longer the victim.

You have the power to change any cercumstance you are in. If you are fearing that he will physically hurt you then you need to call your nearest domestic abuse hotline.

Also, making excuses for his poor behavior; aka: drinking, or that he works a lot will only keep you in a relatioship that clearly isn't making you happy. I've been around many men who drink that have never lashed out at me. The men that I have come across that have tried to use me as an emotionally pinching bag did not stay in my life--this was a red flag and sign that he was not the one for me.

Until you can fully love yourselfunconditionallyyou will continue to keep this guy in your life or you will continue to attract similar men like this into your life. A man who you choose to have in your life should feel honored to be with you. He won't take you for granted.

He will respect you and love you unconditionally and work hard to created a loving, caring and secure relationship with you. Jennifer Herrera, do you think you're crazy?

More importantly, why are you with someone who you let because it is our choice treat you this way? You deserve a man who will love, cherish and honor you with respect, honesty and dignity--protecting your heart, not upsetting it. I had a nice week end with my boy friend family reuion then time for us to go he started a arguement. A lot he works but he hurt me verbally please tell me what I can do please tell please.

Ashley sprouse-holland, when someone starts fights for no significant reason that is due to their own insecurities. Also, often times, this is a control issue. Outburst are not fun to deal with and it is not your job to change or fix a man. Until you love yourself enough to believe that you do deserve better, walking away from this type of unhealthy relationship can be challenging.

My question to you: you have a son, would you want your son to grow up treating a woman the way your significant other is treating you? When we stay in unhealthy relationship we are teaching not only our partners but also our children if we have any that the way we are being treating is OK. Love is not unkind. Love is not abusive or disrespectful. Actions always speak louder then words I'm seeing a definite, clear pattern here. In the comments, as well as the article. My question is, "Why does it always have to be about the male and that he is the problem?

I bet no woman can answer that. Nor can any male. Oh yeah, I get it. Mainly, stupid fights out of nowhere. Faked arguments that never happened, false accusations, sefishness, immature, etc. Even when the guy walks away, it's a no win scenario. My fault the restaurant had bad food, my fault the light stayed red, my fault it's PM and not AM, my fault her family likes me so much, etc I have been married to my husband , will be 40 years summer He has started arguments a day before my birthday and on my birthday years ago and I didn't catch on for many years that it was all made up to mess up my birthday Very immature.

But knowing that the further I go, the worse things will be for my marriage, I recall Step 2: Channel Aunt Margaret, a year-old lawyer from Pittsburgh You may not have an Aunt Margaret, but chances are you have someone like her: a compassionate person with a knack for listening without judging.

If Aunt Margaret were here, she'd tell me to take a deep breath and explain the situation. And then she'd gently try to steer me toward seeing Mia's point of view.

What's brilliant about Aunt Margaret's approach is that it has my interests at heart. Once Mia feels heard, she'll be much more likely to listen to me. So, reluctantly, I resolve to try to imagine—just for a moment—that I'm my wife. In my professional life, I frequently teach this role-reversal tactic. In class students pair up and actually speak as though they are the other person; though some students at first feel silly, they soon come to understand the powerful difference between describing what "he" or "she" is doing and how "I" feels.

I feed him, drop him off at day care, and then put on my social-worker hat. After work, I pick up Noah, come home, bathe him, eat with Dan, and—a lot of the time—do the dishes and clean up around the house.

I know Dan has a busy schedule, but so do I. I keep going. I see that I've left her with two bad choices: Do the dishes herself or nag me. She wants to be supported, but instead she's trapped.

Now I'm really starting to squirm—because my sense of empathy is waking up. I never meant for my wife to feel unsupported. It feels as though a weight has been lifted from me. I think I understand Mia's viewpoint, which makes all those venomous thoughts about how mean she is start to disappear. But happy days aren't here again—yet. Mia is still angry. And telling her "I get it! Step 3: Communicate this new understanding In the family room, Mia sits on the couch, reading. How do I make him say sorry?

What to text him to make him obsessed? Do guys miss you when you walk away? How do you make him chase you and commit? How do you know if a man is a player? How do you make a man chase you after you slept with him? How can I get on his mind all the time? Will a guy ever change his mind about you? Why do guys suddenly lose interest? Can a guys feelings change overnight? How do you know if a guy is losing feelings for you? Why do guys lose interest after a few dates? Is he really busy or losing interest?

At some point, you may begin to believe that you started the quarrel. Altogether, this is a situation where you're not at fault, if it becomes a regular occurrence you may need to plot an escape. I often tell people to realize they are annoying; being with you is not always a bed of roses. So, maybe he's simply starting quarrels because you made him angry.

Making matters even worse is when you can't see that you're wrong, considering the fact that everything is falling apart. There is no doubt that the situation is enough to make anyone upset. Put yourself in his shoes, if your partner pissed you off and couldn't even see that he was wrong, you'd probably rain arguments on him as well. I'm not asking you to accept blame for something you didn't do here, just try to step out of the situation and view it objectively once in a while.

Unfortunately, there's a handful of ladies out there that already suspect this. Yes, it's a viable reason why your partner keeps starting arguments. Having another woman in his life takes a huge chunk of disregard. So, he's probably a bit irritated with you at times, after all, you're no longer the shiny new thing in his life.

In that case, he may not even know how to control it, once you do as much as sneeze, he's not impressed. Besides catching him in the act , communication may be able to get you to the bottom of this mystery. Altogether, it's him, not you. It sounds weird, right? Well, after the honeymoon period wears off, it's often replaced by a war period that no one looks forward to.

It's all part and parcel of getting to know yourselves better; so think of these disagreements as growing pains. Sure, there is an unhealthy level of quarreling which simply points to the fact that you aren't meant to be. But, if you're newlyweds, don't be so quick to write off your union. If you ask older couples if they went through this, you'll realize that they almost bit each other's head off over everything in the beginning as well.

Some guys do this, even when it's still a boyfriend-girlfriend situation. He may have realized that he wants out of the marriage and does not know how to tell you. In that case, he picks up a manipulative technique that involves pushing you to the edge.

He will keep creating disagreements till you eventually get worn out and show him the door. Once you give him what he wants, you'll probably be the bad guy.

As I said, it's incredibly manipulative, but some men do this when they are looking for an escape route. You're not kids, and to an extent, you're friends, as such, you should be able to come to a resolution. Often, men don't like to share their burdens with others. They'd rather bury those feelings deep inside and make another person play the bad guy. Perhaps he's done something he's not particularly proud of and does not want you to catch a whiff of it.

You see, if he can distract you successfully with a good old fashioned quarrel , then he doesn't have to address the dirt he's trying to sweep under the carpet. It doesn't even have to be bad per se, he may be struggling with something he considers personal.

Maybe some close friends disappointed him.